I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
