My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
