Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
