through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
