I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
