Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
