Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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