I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
