I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
