What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
