There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
