Porn is love you can see.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
