Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
