Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
