i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
