she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my shit smells like andre
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
