Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
