yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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