It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
