is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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