My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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