i'm signing you up for texting rehab
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
