And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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