So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pooping to opera.
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