I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
