Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
