Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
