Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
