His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
