I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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