some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
