Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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