I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
