why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
