I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
