He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
