Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
