Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
