Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
