I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
