i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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