even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
