I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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