her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
