The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
