around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm passing your future prison.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
