why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
