Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
