"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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