i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
