And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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